Grief & Creative Healing

Grief is Universal. Healing should be accessible.

Welcome to our community of hope, healing, advocacy, education and support for all things GRIEF.

Grief is universal and we believe that healing, resources and support should be accessible to anyone. Unfortunately, grief education and support options are extremely limited and also, not a realistic option financially for many people who are struggling.

While we are a society that actively struggles with life losses of all kinds (illness, divorce, death, dying, job losses, etc.) and the ongoing effects of isolation surrounding the global pandemic, the availability of grief literacy, education and coping skills and techniques are hard to find and more often still, not an affordable option for so many.

These issues and this social climate are what prompted the beginning of our cause: Grief and Creative Healing.

Your donation will help to support a variety of programs and workshops as well as one-on-one, family and group sessions for anyone who is experiencing grief and loss. Our creative healing modalities are centered in mindfulness practices and foster collective sharing and healing in a safe and supportive space.

We offer caring, judgement free & safe spaces for healing and growing through a variety of life losses and challenges. We journey alongside our participants to encourage, empower and help identify each person’s unique way forward – all the while building healthy coping skills with a strong emphasis on self-care practices and recognizing that “there is no right or wrong way to grieve, heal & create”.

Our new center, located at 1020 Carrington Place, Suite 15 in Charlottesville VA 22901 serves our local community and we also provide virtual support and workshops for those at a distance. We offer all of our services and resources to our clients at no cost to them and we rely on community and grant funding to serve our mission.

Life. In session.

If you’d like more information about our programs and services or if you’re interested in donating and supporting our cause, please reach out. We would love to chat.

My Newest Labor of LOVE!

Long time no write – again!

All apologies. But, y’all: I have been learning SO flippin’ much and have just made the decision to follow my gifts and start doing what I do best – – – helping hurting people.

After serving for 3-years at a local hospice and developing a grief and bereavement program from scratch to support our local community (not only for our patients and their families but rather a program that supports our collective community as a whole), I’ve decided to take this show on the road.

Buckle up! It’s a road trip!

Kinda. Not really. But bear with me here.

The need for grief education, literacy, advocacy, support and resources is overwhelming. This need was already dire prior to our 3-year global health crisis. The “still-to-be-fully-determined” effects of our individual and collective mental health from living in a strange kind of survival mode, are only going to add to that burden. A fractured and over extended healthcare system, staffed by mentally and emotionally broken humans, who have seen too much and done too much and are now walking advertisements for PTSD, are not really good recipes for success or healthful healing. We now know that trauma, even if only perceived, alters our brains. Living in a constant state of fight/flight/freeze, floods our brains with chemicals that make us stay on high alert for danger. Our hormone and chemical flooded brain sends messages to our body that tell us: “Yep – we are not safe. We are afraid. Something bad is definately going to happen. Panic.” Then our body talks to our organs and our breathing becomes fast and shallow and our heart rate and blood pressure go up and that shallow breathing just serves to make more chemicals flood our brain and it’s a vicious cycle that continues.

It’s past time that we take the leap and learn to help one another feel heard, understood and valued while also being mindful that healing from any grief or trauma is messy, unique and always evolving and on-going.

Grief has no finish line. But neither does love. And in order to be a truly trauma informed and healthful community able to support those who are hurting, we need places and spaces and people who are willing to be that light and shine in the dark times so that others can know that they can make it to their tomorrows.

Grief is a normal response to loss and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Grief is messy and miserable and horrible. It is also universal. By educating and healing our selves we can then hope for a more balanced, empathetic and supportive response to ourselves, each other and our community.

Without further ado, I am so EXCITED to share with you all my newest labor of love!

The Center for Grief & Creative Healing began as an idea and soon became a community. The next steps for our non-profit start up are to offer more self-care and mindfulness workshops, grief groups, grief education, resources & counseling sessions for our local communities. Our programs and services will be at no cost to those we serve.

Our goal is to be fully funded by kindness, donations, generosity of volunteer time and grant availability to foster community and collective healing following these trying times.

Classes, groups and workshop schedules will be posted on our Facebook pages. If you or someone you know needs 1:1 grief support, please message us with your contact information.

Much love!

D

This Week’s Focus

This week my focus word is “acceptance”. I’m working on accepting myself, my circumstances, and my relationships. This hasn’t been an easy task for me on the best of days so taking the time to deep dive into this intention is proving to be a challenge – but I’m ready.

Part of acceptance is acknowledging that I’ve not been practicing all that I teach. I share with my grief group participants that we should never say something to ourselves that we wouldn’t also say out loud to those we love most in this world – so part of accepting ME is also being kinder and gentler TO me in my thoughts ABOUT me.

Give some attention to your thoughts and what acceptance looks like in your life this week.

Sending love & light. xo

Today’s Lessons

In no particular order:

– Waiting for an apology that is never gonna come is exhausting. You may as well let that that shit go and keep it moving.

– Silence is an answer. Accept it as such.

– You are the only person that you will spend the rest of your life with 24/7 so you had better make sure that you love you. I’m so serious.

– Don’t be too big/proud/too much of an asshole to admit your own faults. Be humble. Have grace. Apologize when you should.

– You don’t have to be the kind of person that hurt you. You’re better than that.

– If it seems too good to be true, it is. On some very basic level, you already know this but for some reason we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

– No matter who gives up on you, don’t give up on yourself.

– Remember who you were before the world tried to break you. Get back up and try again. Maybe take a nap first.

– Keep going. Keep trying. Keep smiling. Keep shining.

Always.

xoxo

Unconditional People

I hope you have some.

I can literally name 3 true hearts and humans that I still have in my life and world and I’m grateful for them.

I used to believe that I had more.

But when the shit goes down in the big and ugliest of ways, you find out fast and in a hurry who will be left in the end, and for me, I have 3.

One of the hard lessons was realizing that those people who I believed were my “ride or die” tribe members were more than ready to bail and exit stage left when things became unpredictable and less than socially acceptable.

I quickly learned new ways the heart can break.

But more importantly, I’ve learned and grown and changed in so many ways and become a better support for myself and my own heart.

I’ve learned to love me. Flaws and all.

I don’t struggle to be “seen” or approved of.

I just am.

I’m comfortable in my own skin and don’t feel like I have anything to prove to anyone other than the person who I’m living the rest of my life with — the person I see in the mirror for my forever. She is me.

I’ve have also found that there can be pockets of normal even in the middle of awful. Pockets of amazing in between the chaos. Pockets of hope in between the loneliness.

And, to my 3 true ride or die humans: you know who you are and I love you.

And that’s enough.

Always.

xoxo

Quotable

My Best Advice for Bad Days

Sometimes, I need to take it back to the very basics. I mean super basics. Because I tend to get lost in the shuffle and lose my way. And those are the days that I need to keep it simple.

My keeping it simple looks like this:

Set an alarm and get the hell up and out of bed. On the really bad days, I’m always surprised at how hard a task this simple can actually be.

Once you’re up and moving about, take a long shower. Wash away those negative thoughts and feelings with a fresh smelling soap and shampoo. Rinse and repeat and you’ll be surprised at how much better you can feel emotionally once you’re physically well cared for.

Take time to find clothes that are soft and soothing. Now is not the time to go all out with heels and bobbles. Keep it soft and cozy and wrap yourself in things that bring you comfort while you’re bouncing back to the you that you know and love.

Listen to uplifting and encouraging music or a podcast. Keep it positive and light, bright and happy.

Eat the cake. Or the carbs. Whatever works. Nourish and indulge and embrace the comfort food as you care for you.

Take time to breathe. Really breathe and be in the moment. We can’t change the past or the future and worry does no one any good at all.

What are your self-care tips for the really bad days? What works for you and helps you love yourself through it? I’d love to hear your ideas.

In the mean time, take care of you.

Always,

Quotable

It’s Probably Hard to Be My Kids

I came to this grand conclusion this week.

I’m aware that I’m loud, awkward and extra.

That’s probably a hard reality for my kids who are currently teenagers.

But they’ve never known me any other way.

For all of my flaws, they know without a shadow of a doubt that they get all of me — always.

I probably over share. I’m probably too vocal about so many things. But they will never have to question where they stand or wonder what I’m thinking. They know that I will always keep it real. Authenticity is my thing and I don’t hide my mistakes from them. They know that I’m learning as I go. And my hope is that that will give them permission to be flawed and fabulous and beautiful souls walking this earth, too.

I don’t want them to ever have the thought “oh, shit. What’s Mom gonna do?”. I don’t want them to fear being real and sometimes broken or overwhelmed or stressed because my goal is to always be their soft place to land. That’s not to say that I don’t correct them and lose my patience with them when they do things that are not so great; I will always be their Momma and my job is also to guide them and let them know when they’ve gone astray and help them back in the right direction.

But my love never waivers. Not for a single minute. Not ever even for a moment.

They get the best of me and I’m so proud of the young human beings that they are growing into.

Always,

xoxo

Writing my Way Forward

Writing has become my own personal therapy. My new best friend. My person who will listen without judgement. My true ride or die. I’ve learned that I have to be all of these things for myself because others who promised they’d never leave and would be with me “all the days no matter what” have gone.

I write to feel heard. I write to make sense of the chaos and to understand and to be understood.

I write and I share and I try make sense of the things that I struggle with and I hope that my story resonates with others who have similar struggles.

I hope you know you’re not alone and I hope you know that there are people in the same boat — just different bodies of water; in different places with different destinations.

Keep rowing your boat. Rest when you need to but keep going.

All the love. All the days.

xoxo