My Newest Labor of LOVE!

Long time no write – again!

All apologies. But, y’all: I have been learning SO flippin’ much and have just made the decision to follow my gifts and start doing what I do best – – – helping hurting people.

After serving for 3-years at a local hospice and developing a grief and bereavement program from scratch to support our local community (not only for our patients and their families but rather a program that supports our collective community as a whole), I’ve decided to take this show on the road.

Buckle up! It’s a road trip!

Kinda. Not really. But bear with me here.

The need for grief education, literacy, advocacy, support and resources is overwhelming. This need was already dire prior to our 3-year global health crisis. The “still-to-be-fully-determined” effects of our individual and collective mental health from living in a strange kind of survival mode, are only going to add to that burden. A fractured and over extended healthcare system, staffed by mentally and emotionally broken humans, who have seen too much and done too much and are now walking advertisements for PTSD, are not really good recipes for success or healthful healing. We now know that trauma, even if only perceived, alters our brains. Living in a constant state of fight/flight/freeze, floods our brains with chemicals that make us stay on high alert for danger. Our hormone and chemical flooded brain sends messages to our body that tell us: “Yep – we are not safe. We are afraid. Something bad is definately going to happen. Panic.” Then our body talks to our organs and our breathing becomes fast and shallow and our heart rate and blood pressure go up and that shallow breathing just serves to make more chemicals flood our brain and it’s a vicious cycle that continues.

It’s past time that we take the leap and learn to help one another feel heard, understood and valued while also being mindful that healing from any grief or trauma is messy, unique and always evolving and on-going.

Grief has no finish line. But neither does love. And in order to be a truly trauma informed and healthful community able to support those who are hurting, we need places and spaces and people who are willing to be that light and shine in the dark times so that others can know that they can make it to their tomorrows.

Grief is a normal response to loss and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Grief is messy and miserable and horrible. It is also universal. By educating and healing our selves we can then hope for a more balanced, empathetic and supportive response to ourselves, each other and our community.

Without further ado, I am so EXCITED to share with you all my newest labor of love!

The Center for Grief & Creative Healing began as an idea and soon became a community. The next steps for our non-profit start up are to offer more self-care and mindfulness workshops, grief groups, grief education, resources & counseling sessions for our local communities. Our programs and services will be at no cost to those we serve.

Our goal is to be fully funded by kindness, donations, generosity of volunteer time and grant availability to foster community and collective healing following these trying times.

Classes, groups and workshop schedules will be posted on our Facebook pages. If you or someone you know needs 1:1 grief support, please message us with your contact information.

Much love!

D

This Week’s Focus

Lessons from a Pandemic

This pandemic hasn’t created new problems for me, personally, however, it has magnified the cracks and insecurities in my life that were much easier to ignore before I was socially locked down with no distractions from all of the wreckage that has been my journey for the last 7 years.

Talk about a hard pill to swallow.

That mess that I was effectively sweeping under the rug in every possible way, became too much anymore when I was home alone with my thoughts and my feelings and anxieties and with nowhere to run and zero distractions from what was staring me in the face.

So you know what?

I faced it head-on.

I stopped looking the other way and took a long hard look at ME and my choices. Who do I want to be in charge of the REST of my story?

I didn’t want to forfeit my ideas and thoughts and experiences to another human being no matter how much I love them anymore.

I don’t want to be a watered down version of my true self.

I want to love the things and people I love and not feel ashamed of the human being that I am. I want to honor my heart and my beliefs and I want to take my power back. I want to truly live my story out loud, with the volume way up and all the glitter I want.

So here goes.

I’m grateful that I got here but I’m sorry it took a plague to make me see where I was wrong.

Onward, friends.

xo

Oh, the Clutter…

I’m a naturally scattered human by nature. As I’m learning and growing and embracing all that is me, I’m trying to be more mindful of my processes and quirks and flaws.

That said, as I’m reflecting on wrapping up 2019 with a big and pretty bow, I’ve really been ALL OVER THE PLACE this year and I want (and need) to tidy things up.

I’m forever amazed that I still don’t know what I want to “be” when I grow up. When am I gonna figure this life-stuff out? I feel like 42 years and 5 months of age should be sufficient in helping me determine a direction and a path but, here we are.

I feel stuck and uninspired and I just want to spread peace, love, joy and glitter.

(Can I get a real job hugging all the broken people and telling them everything will be ok?)

These next few weeks, I’m hoping to pare down and de-clutter and be more mindful and meaningful about what’s important to ME in this world that I share with the people I love. I feel like 2020 needs to bring about a more focused and intentional ME.

Wish me luck!

All the love. Always.

D

Perspective

If ever you need some perspective on what really matters in this world, I highly recommend spending some time with people who are dying and/or their families who are grieving.

The human heart and it’s capacity to love beyond all measure never ceases to amaze me. I’ve been blessed to have had the opportunity to share some of my most treasured conversations with so many folks over these last few months as I joined a local Hospice team. I’ve shared tears, laughter, sweet tea and strawberry milkshakes along with so many meaningful hours with folks who are struggling in some of their journey’s most difficult times.

I wouldn’t change a single minute of it. I have a much greater appreciation for the smaller things that we often take for granted while we keep things moving at an all too often hectic pace.

Our lives are entirely made up of billions of the tiniest moments and in the end, those moments all add up to make us the people that we are and give us the opportunity to shape and share our world with SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE with so many beautiful stories to share.

I am so grateful for this life and the people I share mine with.

xoxo 💕

It’s Probably Hard to Be My Kids

I came to this grand conclusion this week.

I’m aware that I’m loud, awkward and extra.

That’s probably a hard reality for my kids who are currently teenagers.

But they’ve never known me any other way.

For all of my flaws, they know without a shadow of a doubt that they get all of me — always.

I probably over share. I’m probably too vocal about so many things. But they will never have to question where they stand or wonder what I’m thinking. They know that I will always keep it real. Authenticity is my thing and I don’t hide my mistakes from them. They know that I’m learning as I go. And my hope is that that will give them permission to be flawed and fabulous and beautiful souls walking this earth, too.

I don’t want them to ever have the thought “oh, shit. What’s Mom gonna do?”. I don’t want them to fear being real and sometimes broken or overwhelmed or stressed because my goal is to always be their soft place to land. That’s not to say that I don’t correct them and lose my patience with them when they do things that are not so great; I will always be their Momma and my job is also to guide them and let them know when they’ve gone astray and help them back in the right direction.

But my love never waivers. Not for a single minute. Not ever even for a moment.

They get the best of me and I’m so proud of the young human beings that they are growing into.

Always,

xoxo